Thursday, June 14, 2012

With This Ring. . .

June 10 - Reverb Broads
What was your hardest parenting or partner moment? 
Suggested by Dana 

For better or worse, Jon and I have had fairly smooth sailing. We have our communication issues and we're really horrible about giving each other directions.  If you want to ensure we're both cranky, just put us in a car together and send us to someplace we've never been before.  At the very least we recognize this, but I'm not sure we're getting any better at it.

Still, the worst moment had to have been shortly after we were engaged and just as we were starting to look for rings.  It was a Saturday morning, each of us curled up in our couch corners discussing ring options. Jon says, "Oh, I already know what kind of ring I want."

I was so touched.  He'd been thinking about it.  He had images of what our life would be like together.  We could bond over this moment of shared sentimentality.  Yes, our engagement arose from a road trip talk, but this, this was romance.

"I don't want one."

In that moment, I went from the height of heights to the depth of depths.  I felt kicked in the gut and so hurt that even now I can't find the words to express myself.  I just stared at him, not able to speak. That big run up to romance up there? Shattered.  It was nil, nothing, dirt.

Fortunately Jon was able to read the hurt on my face.  Fortunately I was able to talk about it.

Since then I have learned that I need to tell Jon my expectations, up front.  If I'm hurt that he doesn't fulfill my expectations, it ought to be only if he knew what they were to begin with. The great thing, usually once I make my needs known, he does his very best to make it right.  Good Husband.

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